Friday, 1 May 2009

The Flights of The Vintage Voyagers

I think I know how a goose feels now. Granted, I've long been aware that I have a habit of biting off 'a bit more than I can chew', but having quite as much rammed down my throat is an altogether more unusual experience.

That rising to the challenge of digesting this force-feeding has been quite so fatiguing perhaps, in some way, explains the delay in recounting the component detail. So, for those who have been berating my laissez-faire, might I plead mitigating circumstances and call as witness the exhaustion from which I have only just recovered?

No? OK. I’d better battle on forthwith then, beginning (as I am apt to do) with:

The Prologue

So, what was this mega-mission, this burdensome five-week-long travel binge, this epic adventure of interminable planning? Simple: shepherd a familial flock of pensioner passengers, including an 86 year old long-haul virgin, and a next-door-neighbour, to the other side of the Earth and back, whilst en-route wheeling them, tanning them, floating them, feeding them, watering them, medicating them, amusing them, interesting them and guarding them from unlimited harm (mostly from each other).

I have returned wiser, thinner, shorter, balder and poorer. But at least I’m still in their wills. Travel broadens the mind? It very nearly did my head in.

Durham Tees Valley to Heathrow to Amsterdam - bmi British Midland Airways

Cutting corners so early in this narrative could easily be considered a very poor way to begin; a far from encouraging introduction that is unlikely to enthuse the reader and prompt further page-turning.

It does however seem somewhat pointless recounting the fun endured on at least the first part of this journey, as bmi has finally achieved its long-held goal of cancelling forever their service between the capital and the former RAF Goosepool, more recently known as Tees-side and now Durham Tees Valley Airport. So, since they no longer fly there, neither will you, and you need know more.

Suffice to say: no carry-on luggage allowed, no jetty at LHR, no bus to terminal, no lift or escalator to arrivals level and a gate so far from anywhere at ‘T1’ that it might just as well have been called ‘Slough’.

It’s true that the bmi service between Heathrow and Schiphol remains, but rather in the manner of a dry, nagging cough that refuses to shift and annoys both the throat it travels and all those around.

In fact, service, is perhaps too strong a word. Very much in the manner of previous US Airways experiences, we took off, nothing happened and we landed – with a few scowls thrown around for interest. The scowls appeared to be free for Gold & Silver Diamond Club members, but I rather had the feeling that us ‘Blues’ were paying for them.

There was certainly plenty of time for a few more grimaces pre-disembarkation, as the Airbus A319’s taxi from the Polderbaan to the terminal took very nearly as long as we’d spent aloft across the North Sea.

Forgettable in every way – but also 80% cheaper than a one-way Teesside to Amsterdam with KLM, so I suppose the scowls were reasonable value.

Final Verdict for bmi Domestic and European Economy Class: ?.?/?.?. Unable (or unwilling) to remember anything about them, so scores not available.

Hilton Amsterdam Airport Schiphol

The planning of this whole escapade was, of course, executed under the darkening clouds of the developing global financial crisis. Natural concerns about the likelihood of airlines continuing to operate booked services, or indeed to survive at all were however, every now and again, overshadowed by some frankly remarkable examples of inexplicably high demand, or lunatic revenue management.

Such was the case with the booking of the one-night stopover at Schiphol, and the dawning realisation that the 12 hours spent in a concrete box at the end of the runway would, if we were not careful, end up costing more than any other accommodations on the entire trip.

So it was that our first choice, the Sheraton Schiphol, was pricing up at Eu220 even on a special rate. Add tax and the need for two rooms, and swallowing was becoming difficult. The Hilton was marginally cheaper but, crucially, offered HHonors redemption availability, so one room at Eu180 and one at 40,000 HHonors points were booked instead, slashing the cost at a stroke.

Things didn’t get off to a great start however.

If you’ve travelled with me before, you’ll have met MCC and FCCMotherContinentalclub and FatherContinentalclub respectively – already, and you’ll know their fears and foibles.

Let me introduce you now to the newest (in a rather antiquarian way) member of the travelling tribe: GrandfatherContinentalclub. Master of the tall story and veteran of pre-war Buenos Aires, widower of the nurse who cared for the first German fighter pilots to be shot down over Blighty and all-round dodderer of the deafest order, you’ll be less than surprised to learn that I propose referring to him in future as GCC.

Calls to the World’s airlines had heralded the boarding of his every flight, as perambulatory assistance was requested and required. BAA’s contractors at Heathrow had responded to the cry for castors with remarkable élan, but things rapidly went the way of a Tesco trolley at Schiphol. First problem is that the airport hadn’t sent a chair to meet us.

Luckily, a pusher with an empty one was passing and we hijacked that; sadly however, and despite the fact that her job description would appear reasonably singular, she wasn’t all that keen on pushing at all. So, at the first opportunity, we were abandoned at baggage reclaim, with the compensation that she said it would be OK to keep the chariot overnight as we were staying on the airport site, and return with it in the morning for the onward connection. Fair dos, I guess.

So, out we pop into Schiphol and take a little time to locate the direction of the hotel. Round the back of the florist, past the railway station, up a lift and along the walkway. Sounds straightforward. We pass the bustling café of the cancelled-Sheraton after a short walk, with the corridor stretching out ahead of us. We keep walking. And walking. And walking. I swear that I’ve been on shorter ventures with a backpack and survival supplies. Eventually, when there is no more walkway left, we see the Hilton, which has conveniently been built 100 metres from the end of the World’s Longest Building. We back into the World’s Longest Building’s next superlative amenity – the World’s Grottiest Lift, and clank a floor down and out into the rain.

Soaked from above, wheel-splattered from below and in understandably poor humour, we rock up to the Hilton lobby to at least find that one of the rooms has been upgraded in recognition of my Gold HHonors membership: to the 'Club Floor' whose lounge has already closed and will be of scant use the following morning when the Singapore Airlines iteration will beckon.

The rooms are, helpfully, clean and not too cramped; a room-service Hilton Burger proves that this particular menu staple is bland the World-over and the broadband doesn’t work. We got a free postcard though, so not bad for Eu180 plus tax, room only. Thoughts of Sofitel induce tearful sleep, before the sound of the following morning’s lashing rain wakes us dispiritingly.

Final Verdict for the Hilton Amsterdam Airport Schiphol: 6.0/10. Overpriced, uninviting, a poorly-signed trek from the terminal building and not exactly ‘linked’ to it as the hotel would have you believe, the Hilton is at least clean and functional, but it can only be demand and lack of alternative that can justify their rates.

Amsterdam to Singapore - Singapore Airlines

It’s something of a wonder that, despite the sheer amount of flying I’ve done over the years, Singapore Airlines has hitherto not made its presence felt in one single itinerary. Whilst exotica like the hastily-rebranded Continental Boeing 767 with a Vietnam Airlines sticker on the tail have featured with alarming (in all senses of the word) regularity, Skytrax’s Airline of The Year Winner 2008 and runner-up in 2009 hasn’t had a look-in.

Time to remedy the situation then and, with awards and plaudits like Skytrax’s aplenty, high hopes were held for this 777-operated flight from Amsterdam to Singapore, in Business Class.

The Schiphol start-point was purely a quirk of availability and timing, but the on-board product would be, at the point of booking, the same as that offered from London on Singapore's Boeing 747-400 services. Not that it was all that easy to glean advance information of that product, as the Singapore Airlines website had deleted almost all reference to it in favour of the trumpeting of its New Business Class seat, as featured on the (limited) Airbus A380 Super Jumbo, ultra long-range Boeing 777-300ER and Airbus A340-500 routes.

With BBC World reporting that Amsterdam’s sister airport in the Air France KLM twinning, Paris Charles de Gaulle, was all but closed due to high winds and rain, it was with slight trepidation that we re-commenced the marathon trek through the World’s Longest Building back to check-in. Spirits lifted with the sighting of the distinctive Singapore tailfin, assuring us that our flight, being the airline's single daily visit, was at least on stand.

Check-in was swift and we motored on through the terminal following the signs for the Airline Lounges. With only one false turn, we found the dedicated Singapore Lounge tucked around the back of the ABN Amro one.

Wheelchair safely stowed in the cloakroom, we settled in for our first pure Singapore Airlines experience.

Well, I suppose that we should be impressed that SQ has a dedicated lounge for a single daily rotation through AMS, even if that’s hardly unique. Otherwise, frankly, it was all rather disappointing. On a dull day, it was dark and viewless, but even on a bright day the limited choice and quality of food would be obvious.

The décor belied its age and the lack of facilities the fact that the Amsterdam service is operated by a two-class 777, rather than equipment offering First Class.

So, whilst the lounge facilities may have been industry-standard 15 or 20 years ago, they were disappointing up against contemporary comparisons and, of course, that much-vaunted Singapore Airlines reputation. It was, at least, well cared-for, despite the brave black, purple and gold colour scheme.

Boarding was announced and we made reasonably swift progress to the gate and through security. At the gate, we were met by a wheelchair pusher who would graciously assist with the last yards – although surely more from a Health & Safety point-of-view rather than any genuine desire to help on Schiphol’s part.

This special assistance requirement meant that, throughout this entire trip, we would pre-board every flight and therefore the manner and means of the priority boarding that we would otherwise be entitled to, would go wholly untested.

Until relatively recently, Singapore’s Business Class product was known as Raffles Class but, for reason or reasons unknown, that branding has been quietly dropped. The seats on this 777, arranged 2-2-2 across the cabin, are of the ‘wedgie’ variety – that is, when fully reclined, they extend flat but not horizontally-so. With an inclination of 8 degrees, they’re therefore renowned for inducing in-flight slippage with the resultant effect that underwear becomes wedged rather more intimately than was necessarily the designer’s intention.

The cabin is reminiscent of Cathay Pacific’s recently superseded New Business Class with seats housed in cocoons, a small privacy screen between the two single seats of each pair and the TV screen mounted on the rear of the seat cocoon in front. Unlike the previous Cathay seat, the cocoon does move slightly to facilitate the recline, and the armrests drop away to provide greater bed width. It all looks clean and tidy and more than serviceable for the flight ahead.

The welcome is polite and friendly from the crew, although again the special assistance requirement means that I’m more interested in getting my charges seated in the right seats and their bags and sticks stowed, than I am in observing intricacies of crew interaction at this stage.

As the other passengers begin to board, pre-poured drinks are offered on a tray – water, orange juice and champagne for this scheduled 10:55am departure. We’re also offered our in-flight amenity kits which, given the publicity surrounding the Givenchy-designed goodies carried in First Class, I’m really looking forward to seeing.


The Dynasty-era lounge was soon to be joined by another SQ disappointment however: the cheapest, most paltry amenity pack seen since well, actually, I’ve never seen one so grim. Ignoring the (rotten) colour, the sum total of the contents were 1x eyeshade, 1x socks. Lest we should forget, the cheapest published return Singapore Airlines Amsterdam to Singapore Business Class fare is (at time of writing) a touch under 3,500 Euros, so this is far from a low cost option. Hmm.

Anyway, off we set, pretty much on time and with every member of the attendant tribe in the right seat, pointing in the right direction and, most helpfully, apparently still breathing. Despite the shock of the amenity kit.

The crew were prompt to busy themselves as soon as the seatbelt light was off, and a further selection from the aforementioned range of drinks was offered. Heralded by clanking of trolleys and clinking of crockery, they re-emerged from the forward galleys to offer satay. Not that this was explained however (you notice these things when you’re accompanying the less well-travelled) and GCC looked at it very suspiciously.

The former Raffles crockery was in use, given away by the distinctive blue logo. No table cloth was provided however – plate on table, paper napkin and a KFC-style wet wipe. It tasted OK though. The satay, I mean, not the wet wipe.

Once cleared away and a full bar service undertaken, the tables were laid properly, again with the Raffles-branded cruet and a linen cloth. The starter course offers a single ‘choice,’ so the ‘Procuitto (sic) ham with celeriac remoulade, piperade, grilled asparagus with extra virgin olive oil’ it was.

Notwithstanding that fact that I wouldn’t know piperade from cherryade, I have to say that what was presented didn’t exactly look like the description, to me. For a start, rather a lot of cheese seemed to have been sneaked in.

It was, basically, OK, but you’ll be getting the impression by now that I was already feeling sadly underwhelmed. Looking at GCC, well, he was still looking relieved more than anything else. His last scheduled flight had, after all, been on a Shorts 330 from Aberdeen to Newcastle, so the sheer amount of space around him for this long haul expedition was enough to keep him pleased. MCC and FCC would be a different matter however, so I avoided looking at them for fear of two pairs of blameful eyes meeting me, demanding justification for not being on Cathay….

Next up: main course and here, at least, a choice from Beef, Seafood, Chicken Pasta or Fish Curry. MCC would be sampling the Vegetarian Meal and all would be delivered plated from the galley.

The beef was, reportedly, very nice and I certainly wouldn’t complain about the fish curry, which was extremely tasty. In both cases however, I couldn’t help but notice that everything on the plates seemed to have a Fisher-Price-like, easy-to-grab chunkiness to it. It was an observation, anyway – it didn’t affect the flavour but seemed to look a bit odd compared to traditional airline catering daintiness.

GCC glanced across at MCC and asked me to identify what she had been presented with for her main course. Upon learning that it was the vegetarian meal, he pondered it for a moment before declaring its visual reminiscence to a compost heap. MCC later confirmed that the similarity extended way beyond aesthetics and well into taste.

Dessert brought with it a choice of 'Cappuccino Mousse, A Selection of Fresh Fruit or Gourmet Cheese with Garnishes'. So, dear reader, I offer for your delectation and salivation, Singapore Airlines’ (or at least their Amsterdam caterer’s) interpretation of the latter ‘Gourmet Cheese with Garnishes,’ along with the somewhat non-traditional iron, cheese-cutting for the purpose of:

I mean, is someone having a laugh?

Attention was then turned to KrisWorld, Singapore Airlines in-flight on-demand entertainment system. The choice of films, music, TV programmes and so on was good, but the means of accessing them seemed clumsier than either Cathay’s or British Airways’, necessitating quite a bit of scrolling through pages to get to the desired feature. Also missing was the much-valued ability to turn the screen off whilst still listening to music, something that Cathay’s Studio CX, in particular, offers.

Lights dimmed and seat flattened, a few hours slidey but reasonable sleep was managed through the night, before an increase in crew activity preceded the cabin lighting rising again and breakfast service being prepared. Surprisingly, landing was more than two hours away but that turned out to be just as well, as the seat would not return to its upright position. The problem appeared to be a broken armrest, which wouldn’t lift from its lowered-for-sleeping position. No amount of re-setting would cure it so, in the end, crew assistance was requested and a clearly well-practiced kick and twisted thump got the thing moving again.

The table was set but, to be honest, the choice of Griddled Pancake with Blueberry Compote and (the brave addition of a) Veal Sausage, or Braised Udon Noodles with Chicken, Mushrooms and Leafy Greens, or Scrambled Egg with Mushrooms, Grilled Tomato and Breakfast Ham didn’t really appeal. At least the quality and presentation of that part of the breakfast taken – sliced fresh fruit - was a marginal, if still uninspiring, improvement on the post take-off lunch.

The coffee was nice.

So that was it, really; the service was never anything other than polite on this overnight flight, but there was little conversation or interaction between crew or any of the Business Class passengers. I didn’t notice any acknowledgment of status passengers – maybe there weren’t any – but I think that the best that can be said of the whole experience is that it was ‘business-like’. I’d venture to suggest that, in these times and in this most competitive of markets, that’s not really good enough for the fare asked.

Hopefully, the airline’s home would impress me more.

Final Verdict for Singapore Airlines (ex-Raffles) Business Class: 6.5/10. The lounge was out-dated, the catering poor and the rest of the soft product largely unimpressive. The seat was reasonably comfortable, but its failure to operate pre-landing was a nuisance and, whilst the crew was charming, the service was perfunctory. 7 years ago, this might have been 7.5/10, but not today.

Singapore Changi Airport and The JetQuay

After the wind-from-sails-removing in-flight experience, all hopes were pinned on the arrival arrangements in Singapore being altogether more impressive. And so they turned out to be. A wheelchair was waiting at the 777’s door, with a pusher whose job it was to shove GCC no further than the other end of the jetty. Here, two drivers with attendant buggies stood to attention, ready to whisk us off to Changi’s on-airport CIP (Commercially Important People) Terminal – JetQuay.


It was a race between these two Ayrton Sennas of Arrivals through Terminals Three and Two, parting a Moses-like path through the sea of early-morning travellers, who’d hitherto been enjoying a leisurely browse of the duty free emporia. With a remarkable lack of self-awareness or embarrassment, we just about managed to avoid smiling and waving at the blurred hordes and we finally rolled up at the entrance to JetQuay. So far: so fun.


A wheelchair was already waiting there and we descended into the Jet Quay lobby, calmed by waterfalls and fountains and decorated with abundant orchids.

Immigration formalities are completed in a private room with no queue, and then passengers are escorted into the lounge area to partake of drinks and/or food as desired.

The facility is used by both arriving and departing passengers and there are numerous seating and meeting areas, televisions, PCs, WiFi, showers and a buffet area.


JetQuay is a privately-run enterprise which integrates seamlessly into the Changi operation. There are differing levels of service, including one which includes limousine transfer from aircraft to lounge, but all are open to all passengers – upon payment of the appropriate fee, of course. It’s an excellent facility – really first class – but it seems somewhat perverse that JetQuay operates at one of the World’s already most efficient and otherwise painless-to-use airports, rather than the myriad selection of will-sapping hell-holes with three-letter IATA codes that litter the rest of the globe. Oh for JetQuay at JFK (that’s a request, by the way, not a comment.)

Arriving passengers have their luggage receipts taken by a member of staff for a porter to retrieve any cases, and deposit them unseen in any onward transport which has been arranged. Only when the luggage is safely stowed in the car outside are the passengers then invited to leave their calm surroundings and head to the hotel-style porte-cochere for their swift and discreet departure.

Along a private drive and through unadorned gates, and we’re out into a Singapore morning in some style.

The more eagle-eyed amongst you will have noted that the waiting transport was far from a brace of minicabs, so things were continuing to look up significantly……

The St Regis Singapore

It has been lightly reported in minor journals that the World is quietly progressing through a spot of financial upset. Apparently some smaller, mostly insignificant, corporations are at risk of marginal revisions to their growth trajectories.

Sitting in the back seat of the second car in a Bentley Continental Flying Spur convoy, carving through the sparklingly dew-laden early-morning streets of Singapore, chauffeur's cap on the dashboard and hotel’s logo finely embroidered on the rear of the baby-soft cream leather front seat headrests, it’s not immediately apparent that the foundations of capitalism are shaking around us.

The only sense of limitation is that these most finely-crafted of Crewe creations, each capable of 314kmh, are reined in to a maximum of 90kmh on even Singapore’s speediest stretches. Which is tedious.

Driver announces that we are seven minutes from the hotel, inaccurately as it transpires. Perhaps due to unexpected traffic-light phasing, arrival is 6 minutes 43 seconds later. Sloppy, I would say.

Now, why was the arguably off-pitch St Regis selected in the face of such exalted alternatives as the Mandarin Oriental or the Four Seasons, the garlanded Shangri-la Valley Wing, or even Singapore’s iconic Raffles Hotel? Why, having read a couple of merely very good, but not superlative, reviews of this most recent addition to the city-state hotel scene had I still decided to entrust them with the aged clan?

Well, for one, we’re all different, with different priorities and expectations, and reviews should always be read (are you listening?) circumspectly on that basis. Secondly and more importantly however, I have a theory about service provision. It’s not fashionable, and my much-published friends at Cornell, Cranfield and Harvard tend not to grab headlines with management books on the subject, but in my experience the single most important characteristic demanded by the vast majority of consumers is: reliability. The fact that there is so little satisfaction with general levels of service provision is a reflection of what I call ‘The Rarity of Reliability’. You heard it here first.

The books, of course, all talk about ‘excellence’ because we live in an age where marketing dictates that a message without superlatives is uncommercial. Well, excellent is not good enough for me – reliability first, then build to sustainable excellence.

Which is where Starwood Hotels & Resorts Worldwide Inc., comes in. Few outside the industry have heard of the company, as they trade under non-corporate brands. Far more will recognise Sheraton, but the stable includes Westin, Four Points, Aloft, and W Hotels amongst others.

Each is tailored to appeal to a different demographic, or to sit more happily in a given geographic location and, right at the top of this carefully brand-managed tree sits St Regis.

Starwood makes no secret of the fact that they believe St Regis is a worthy competitor in the Four Seasons, Ritz Carlton, Mandarin and Peninsula stratosphere of hotel accommodation and, in many ways, they’re quite right. Certainly, from a room-rate point of view, there can be little to distinguish between them but, and this is only my experience to date, St Regis has a tendency towards the more individual, dare I say it: old-fashioned style of hospitality.

They’re definitely American, but rather more John Jacob Astor than George Walker Bush.

So, from the Four Points by Sheraton in Kamloops, British Columbia, to the Lanesborough in London, Starwood have proved in their dealings with me to be the most reliable of hotel operators. That I have an affinity with the grand and slightly more iconic style of hotel brings St Regis into sharper focus and, frankly, why would I spend my money with a company other than one which has done most to develop my loyalty over many years?

Just as well, then, that the St Regis Singapore had managed to open its doors a mere 15 months in advance of our arrival. Time enough, hopefully, to iron out any early kinks and ensure that everything on the snagging list has been attended to.


Sweeping onto the hotel forecourt, it might have been supposed that minor royalty or senior diplomats were expected and that we would be flagged to a side entrance to ensure no let or hindrance. Except that the retinue there-waiting was primed and prepared for nothing other than to welcome two claret Bentleys and their long haul cargo of self-loading freight.

Observe therefore, if you will, those members of the hotel staff visible in this hastily-taken snap, not forgetting those just out-of-shot ready to handle doors and luggage. Note also that, ever-so-slickly, a wheelchair was ready and waiting, despite no prior knowledge on the hotel’s part that one would be required.

At little after 7am, two adjoining rooms had been prepared and made available, at whose doors our Butler was on hand to add to the growing throng of gracious hosts. Inside, platters of breakfast pastries and freshly pulped juice, personal letters of welcome from management and the discreet presentation of a single piece of paper to sign as a check-in formality.

As the last of the staff completed their duties of haulage, explanation and welcome and ebbed away from the rooms, the huge, vault-like doors were clicked shut and a welcome peace, tranquillity and respite from hours of travel washed over this motley crew of pensioners and their passepartout.

Unlike many other properties in the chain, the Singapore edifice is brand-new and purpose-built, a shimmering collection of sky-bound towers and a Guggenheim-esque barrel clad in stainless steel. Its modernity seems in no way to compromise the obvious fact that this property is very much a hotel in the grand tradition – exemplified by contemporary sculpture backed by rare 19th Century Chinese silk wall-hangings.


Vast expanses of marble floor are crafted in the most ancient manner and yet seem to display a lightness and finesse that suits their avowedly 21st century setting.


Carpets seem at first-glance to be of traditional luxury, but closer inspection reveals frankly remarkable detail and even, in the case of that draping the grand staircase, the most discreet LEDs embedded in the weave of the treads and risers, twinkling ever so slightly.

Ceilings and internal windows in the public areas pay homage to the art of the glass-stainer and metal-worker,

- with stunning chandeliers and light-fittings sailing in the manner of vitreous galleons beneath celestial support.

You’ll have guessed by now that I rather like this hotel.

Grand Deluxe Rooms are spacious and well-appointed, incorporating a Bose sound system and with a media interface discreetly located beneath a flap in the writing desk – through which an iPod or USB connection can be made.

The entrance lobby to the room plays host to a comprehensive bar housed in an elegant sideboard and, reflecting the juxtaposition of the modern and the traditional in the public areas, the otherwise genteel guestrooms are also home to such features as clear acrylic occasional tables, polished metal lampshades and contemporary glass lamp stands.


The bathrooms, similarly, combine chandeliers, polished wood and centrepiece free-standing baths, with the very latest LCD televisions built in to expansive mirrors and massaging multi-jet showers.

And our view looks across to the Shangri-La.


Dining in the hotel is spread between the lobby lounge Drawing Room, the large main restaurant, Brasserie des Saveurs - with dancing fountains beyond its floor to ceiling windows, an open-kitchened Italian, La Brezza, and the upper-floor Yan Ting Chinese. The Astor Bar is an atmospheric spot for an aperitif or one-for-the road, but Decanter represents the hotel’s principal destination for the discerning imbiber, with 1500 wine labels available and daily tastings for hotel guests.


Breakfast and Afternoon Tea arguably vie for the accolade of most-notable culinary features of the hotel however, both of which are served in the grand surroundings of Brasserie des Saveurs.

Breakfast is a particularly happy combination of cold buffets with seemingly never-ending selections of cereals, fruits, charcuterie, patisserie and the like, which are laid out with abundant choice but careful quantity, so that they are constantly freshened and replenished. Cooked options are offered a la carte, ensuring the highest quality. Uniquely in my experience, the hotel also offers amuse bouches at breakfast and, throughout service, there are regular offerings of breakfast canapés brought to table – a most memorable addition to the norm.


Afternoon tea is also a hybrid affair. Hot selections of quiches and pastries, or Dim Sum, are delivered direct from the kitchen, along with sandwiches, wraps and generously proportioned scones. Cakes and confectionery are displayed on a tiered cascade from which only modesty and the need to be able to walk afterwards can prevent the diner from ensuring his or her rapid removal to the nearest bariatric ward.


Indeed, this level of consumption renders the hotel’s fitness facilities essential, and the gym is a well-featured space with regular attendance by staff to ensure supplies of headphones, water and towels are maintained both at the entrance and at each individual machine. Polished apples are also available for a fast fructose hit.


The gym sits between the spa and the outside pool which, whilst far from vast, has been intelligently designed to allow both laps and paddling –

- with a selection of day beds and sun beds alongside, including some which are partially submerged for stress-free toe-cooling in the equatorial heat.

Staff are on hand to dispense iced water and chilled facecloths, and dainty fruit kebabs.


Indeed the staff members, as is so often the case, were the real icing on this Starwood cake. Undoubtedly professional and trained to exacting standards, the over-riding impression is of a group of people who are exceedingly proud of their place of employment.

The ex-Four Seasons doorman, fulsome in his praise of his former employer, could barely disguise his delight in having secured his new position.

A Receptionist, Starwood Graduate and member of the team since opening, could not have been a more enthusiastic ambassador for the property, whilst all the time maintaining an air of calm assurance that reminds one that these people are not mere service-providers. They are those who, in Bombay and Islamabad most recently, are our first line of defence as hotel guests – and we benefit from far more than mere smiles and help with our bags in times of challenge. Were there to be flood or fire, tempest or terror, I have to say that I would feel immensely secure in the care of these people – and that, with a family in tow, is a priceless comfort.

More banally however, I was immensely impressed by (and grateful for) the staff’s ability to handle a relatively complicated booking, which had to be amended on a couple of occasions pre-arrival, and their discretion in dealing with the check-out process and looking after MCC and FCC who were to depart on a slightly later flight than GCC and I. I might also, finally, add that I considered the value for money, under the circumstances, to be absolutely exceptional.

Final Verdict for the St Regis Singapore: 9.0/10. The staff were wonderful, the location peaceful but still accessible with Singapore’s cheap and plentiful cabs, the guest rooms luxuriously comfortable and the hotel in general elegant and detailed, impressive yet unintimidating. A fine contemporary interpretation of a grand city hotel.