So, what was this mega-mission, this burdensome five-week-long travel binge, this epic adventure of interminable planning? Simple: shepherd a familial flock of pensioner passengers, including an 86 year old long-haul virgin, and a next-door-neighbour, to the other side of the Earth and back, whilst en-route wheeling them, tanning them, floating them, feeding them, watering them, medicating them, amusing them, interesting them and guarding them from unlimited harm (mostly from each other).
I have returned wiser, thinner, shorter, balder and poorer. But at least I’m still in their wills. Travel broadens the mind? It very nearly did my head in.
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