Wednesday, 30 July 2008

Trip Reports: The Flights of The Geriatric Meerkats.

I have a plea for you: be gentle with me will you?


You see, this is my first time. I’ve read every how-to guide for 'Trip Reporting', by the very leaders in their field . So, if I make a right hash of this, then please blame me, not them. I am clearly not worthy of following their example. Apparently.

Here I am therefore, champagne in hand, backwards over Denver, CO, upper decked and watching the most beautiful sunset over the Western horizon of a spectacular trip. My left armrest is slightly rocky, the footrest has yet to be tested, and my Father is a row behind grumbling to my Mother about not being in First Class. However, the On Demand Audio and Video is currently pre-pre-menstrual (and therefore fully operational) and I’ve identified myself to the Cabin Services Director as a dab-hand at questionnaires. All is therefore well with the World and my loins are girded to give this trip report malarkey a whirl.

So, dear reader, sit back, relax and feel free to wholly ignore the index of reports, the titles of which will hopefully (or at least wishfully) make future searching easier. Collectively, however, they are to be known as ‘The Flights of The Geriatric Meerkats’ – the reason for which will become clear. If you care.

The Prologue

Not for nothing did St Frankie offer a prologue. It set the scene. Laid the foundations. Painted a picture. He was unique, a one-off, a narrative genius, a titan of the silver screen and awfully rich. I am none of these things and therefore this will be brief. My Mum was 60 in February. My Father’s Mum died a week later. My Mum’s Mum died two months to the day after that. Dad will be 65 in the Autumn.

I am sick of standing up in church delivering eulogies.

Mum nursed Dad’s Mum before having to deal with her own loss. She was knackered. Dad’s every waking moment was spent doing the ‘son’ things for his ‘Mam’. He was listless. They needed a holiday and have ‘big’ birthdays this year. I had points. Guess what happened next? From now on, if I am continentalclub then let’s just use CC. She will be MCC and he is FCC.

No comments: